You went psychotic afternoon

acted invisible

and chased after imaginary cats

You went really

red rover

and Flamenco danced at a fortune teller

You rushed off

on roller-skates,

after performing the Heimlich on a mannequin

You set fire

to your feet

and played Frisbee with stolen toilet seats

You sucked…

Milky air, in a patina, thickened around the shape of the vehicle. The lions, kangaroos, and Jim Breuer disappearing, drowning in swirls; the animals becoming stuffed animals, toys for fat kids in Kansas. The animals becoming lost faces in heavy cream, the animals amassing with the miasma.

“… … things…

Santa put the pedal to the metal. The speedometer reaching 106 MPH. And, silently, he remembered when he used to impersonate Jesus, back when he had a series of slapfights with African cabdrivers. Then Santa recalled his stint as a fortune teller in a bus station bathroom, over in Hoboken…

Another metallic clank and a whomp whomp. Muffled cries echoed from the back of the vehicle. Santa then crinkled his nose in revulsion and stabbed a finger at the dashboard, clicked on Clay Travis and Buck Sexton’s radio show.

“They like to think God Himself went and offed us, like…

The skunk, strong Sativa slammed Santa with the force of a flash flood. His eyes reddening, he eased back further in the bucket seat, blew a series of beer bottle-sized smoke rings.

“The Snakeheads knew from November, and they were watching water like a housecat… Yessir, no mock outrage at…

“Dark, grotesque figures, in a soundless rage, attacking with the fury of a Florida man…

“Dark actors, leading Mickey Mouse to a prison shanking in the shower.

“Yessir, it was all angles and no curves. The blood hunter’s ghost marriage proposal, that anagram in The Lancet… All this while the…

Ivan was the clown of the construction crew.

Though he’d been in America for over two decades, he still spoke English with a heavy Russian accent, and his unique cadence and pronunciations were probably what made his jokes, and just about everything he said, that much funnier…

One of the…

kim cancer

A piece of trash

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