I’ve Been Signing Up Nigerian Spammers to Gay Porn Websites

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SELECTED TO RECEIVE $20 MILLION!

“ … “

No, not really, but I’m sure we’ve all received nuisance emails like this. Normally from someone claiming to be a Nigerian prince.

Such spam emails have been rolling into my inbox, furiously, for weeks.

I’ve got no idea how my email address found its way to Nigeria, to these spammers, but clearly my email has been thrown to these modern-day grifters, and the spammers have been pouncing on my email address like it was raw meat thrown to caged lions in a zoo.

Every day, I receive several emails, usually from various purported royal family members. For some reason, the Nigerian royal family seems really excited and happy to bequeath tremendous sums of cash to a perfect stranger…

It looked so simple too. All I had to do was provide them with my full name, social security number, and bank account number, and WOW! $20 million, $10 million, $11.8 MILLION were ALL MINE!

Of course, as most of us must also know, this is a con, a swindle, a racket, a trick, a cheat, a flimflam, a hustle, a hoax, a bunco… a low-down dirty boondoggle!

These particular spam scams have been around for ages, too, and I once saw a fascinating documentary about this phenomenon.

Being that this racket is so well known, it’s surprising that these emails still even exist. Sadly, though, some folks must still be falling for this, otherwise these emails would not still exist.

Since most of these emails originate from Nigeria, I got interested to learn a little more about the country, so I googled it, and then went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

In doing so, I was rather dismayed to learn that in Nigeria, homosexuality is considered a crime and that gays are often beaten, murdered, and even jailed, simply for being who they are… What the fuck?! In the 2020s? Really?

In fact, according to Wikipedia, 14 states in Nigeria have Sharia law and carry out the death penalty for same-sex relations, death by stoning, to be exact. In other regions of Nigeria, gays can receive prison terms of up to 14 years in jail!

Coming from a country where gay marriage is legal, and where a football coach was just forced to resign, largely because of idiotic anti-gay slurs he’d used in an email, I was definitely saddened to see how much worse life is for LGBTQ in other countries, especially in Nigeria, as well as other countries in the developing world.

Which brings me back to the spamming scammers that’d been attacking my email inbox on a daily basis.

In the documentary I watched, the scammers were all men.

(And I’m not sure why. Perhaps the women there have better, more effective scams to pull, or are just smarter and better humans than these spammers…)

After reading that the majority of the country is homophobic (up to 94–97% identifying as homophobic, according to a Pew poll) I figured, statistically, the spammers would likely also share these beliefs, so I decided to avenge their email attacks by launching a little assault of my own.

My plan: I decided to fuck with the spam scammers by signing them up to gay porn websites.

I posited that doing so would both annoy the shit out of them as well as force them to confront their homophobia.

Every “419” spam email I receive now, I copy the return address, and then sign the spammer up to action-packed newsletters for sites like “HOT HORNY HUNKS SUCK COCK.CUM”

The recipients of such newsletter invitations will be the spammers, and I like to envision their reactions, as they log in to their email accounts, the anger playing out over their faces. Their eyes bulging. Their lips curling in disgust as they view the message awaiting them in their inbox. Oh, how I wish I could be like Facebook or Instagram and be able to flick on the spammers’ webcams, watch their responses!

Obviously, the thought of the fraudsters possibly being, themselves, a closeted homosexual, that did cross my mind. But hey, if that’s the case, then maybe they found a new gay website to enjoy, and good for them!

There’s also, possibly, legal, social ramifications that could arise. What if the spammer, as he sat in a crummy net café, in Lagos, what if the person sitting next to the spammer saw his screen, saw him open an email with a picture of a dude sucking another dude’s cock, or a big beefy jock, football-playing fuck, bending over, flashing his naked, muscly man ass for the camera, what if someone saw him looking at that?

Would the spammer be hauled off to jail? Beaten? Killed? I’m not sure, and I wouldn’t wish physical harm upon the hoaxer. However, it’s hard to feel too much empathy for those who swindle, steal money from others, steal identities. Such spammers are criminals who often exploit gullible seniors.

So, hey, if that scamster got his ass hauled to jail over, ironically enough, an email, then yo, I say that’s just karma, bitch.

Not that I believe signing these con-artists up for gay porn will stop or deter them, but hopefully it at least annoys them, makes them confront their homophobia.

And, what’s more, I do wish that one day, perhaps Nigeria can have a better, more equitable society. One that’s not such a breeding ground for hate and spam scams.