What I Like About You

You went psychotic afternoon

acted invisible

and chased after imaginary cats

You went really

red rover

and Flamenco danced at a fortune teller

You rushed off

on roller-skates,

after performing the Heimlich on a mannequin

You set fire

to your feet

and played Frisbee with stolen toilet seats

You sucked off

a Salvation Army Santa

and ran off Riverdancing

You spray-painted

stanzas of Beatnik poetry

and puked on every public library

You started

stupid new dancing plagues

and catfished Karen suicide cults

You went fishing,

with your bare hands

and called it performance sushi

You really licked

random people in frog suits

and called it floppy lollipops

You guerrilla exploded

empty empathy tanks

and went vigilante snowman with whip cream cans

You really

whispered

what I didn’t wanna hear

You really

bit off my ear

and called it true romance

You… You… Oh, you!!!

You called for

calisthenics and cannibalism

and practiced performance veganism

You understood

umbrellas were parachutes

and purposely padlocked airport bathrooms

You sipped

Psilocybin Bourbon Bitters,

and did angry ballet behind a Burger King

You plucked

pubic hairs with pliers,

and called it performance topiary

You sucked off

Ari Shaffir

and called it heckling

You hyperventilated

and imagined progress

You bought an AK-47

and begged for world peace

You did it all

YOUR way,

on your OWN terms…

You went without

reading palms

You went without

breaking mirrors

And that’s exactly

what I like about you